12 August 2014

You Were The Change In Me

You were Spring.
You brought the warmth in your smile,
Melting the icicles around my hardened heart.
Dried my tears so fast I forgot what I was even crying about.
Each exhale your body allowed, would blow the grey clouds further apart.
The twinkle in your eyes as if the brightness of the Sun,
Illuminating with the warmest glow to announce your welcome.
You were the end of my freezing nights,
The beginning of my blooming garden which was once snow covered and forgotten about.

You were Summer.
Your unwavering eyes on me caused blushes only the blistering heat could create.
Like water droplets condensing on window panes; dripping wet-
Your whispers amplified my voice in utter agreement-
As if the perfect combination of iced water& freshly squeezed lemons,
I swear our moments of happiness would have been the equivalence of Spring break attendees on the Cuba beaches.
You were the fully bloomed roses, evergreen hill tops, the smell of freshly cut grass.
You were the freedom riding down endless roads with our favourite songs on full blast.
Your breath on my neck, as if the breeze making a promise to the trees-
Guaranteeing that the lonely nights would end sooner than the rest of times.

You were Autumn.
With the change as sudden as the winds turning colder,
How our smiles turned into frowns like the change of colours the leaves were wearing.
Searching for beauty within the rustling of dried leaves& sweeping them up after-
Trying not to reminisce how beautiful they once were.
As if preparing for the coldness that would arrive, as if preparing for the heartbreak that I could not handle;
Thicker sweaters mimicking your arms, hot chocolate replacing your kisses, pumpkin pies to relive the comfort of the home we once built.
As if a costume during Halloween, how you removed a mask I once believed was your true self.
I could have left for greener pastures; but call me naive-
Because I stayed on hoping for the weather to return to its former.

You were Winter.
Nights arriving sooner than I was used to, 
Days were lazier than the usual- didn't see the point of leaving my now only comfort of solace.
You were the reason why I developed the habits of hibernating animals,
Simply wishing to sleep through the entire winter, still hoping to awake to warmer weather.
Fireplaces, drinking soup or hot chocolate, laying under sheets- doing anything to pretend you were still providing me heat-
You enjoyed throwing snowballs to hurt, building snowmen that couldn't feel,
Creating your ideal angels in the snow, I guess I was living in those shadows-
And with the grey skies hovering over me, I guess the only thing I can do now is to keep looking up till the Sun emerges once again. 
You were the change in me.

2 August 2014

I Want You To Know That I am Thankful

I want you to know, 
that you are the reason why I even pull myself out of bed instead of the covers over my head. 
That you are the reason why I look forward to the sun rising in anticipation of hearing your voice fill the air, 
and to allow laughter be induced from depths within myself I never knew exist.

I want you to know, that I emphatize.
 That I curse myself for not expanding my circle earlier, 
or perhaps went in search for you with more intent,
 so that perhaps I could have prevented your heartaches, 
or even have been there to offer you my presence.
 Call me egoistic, but I am sure I would have made a difference. 
My thoughts on this remain affirmative as your embraces have made my tears dry up faster, 
kept my being warmer than I ever knew I could be.

I want you to know, that I will hold onto your dreams, 
even if no one else thinks they are plausible. 
I will put them on display them above mine, shine them every so often- 
that when you are ready to adorn them like medals that they are, 
I can remind you of why they even materialized in the first place. 
Always remember, that your dreams- 
even the very simple crux of the idea, holds weight in my heart, 
to keep me down to earth, so you may go beyond this world.
 And especially on the nights where you do not believe in them, or yourself, that I always will- 
simply because you have salvaged mine when I dispose of them every so often.

I want you to know, that you have made me smile and turned things around. 
Whenever I have imagined my reflection, 
it has never been one that made my heart beat faster with excitement and impatience. 
It has been said that the ones you let yourself be around should be the ones you see yourself to become-
 and I can safely announce that you have given me a goal to better myself 
and to remember that there are flowers I have not seen bloom in my garden, 
if only I would listen to your reminders to keep them watered.

I want you to know, that I am grateful. 
I who have been blessed with the words to express, 
have not yet found the words to describe the light you have ignited in my soul 
to allow me to glance around myself, realizing that perhaps, 
there is more to what my options have lead me to. 
And for that, thank you to you.

I have to let you know, however, 
that I am terrible at keeping people around. 
I tend to be clumsier than most and slip back into my somber self too often, 
and I hope you would bother to carry me back up so that you may always be in view, 
so that I may push on with your hands in mine, till I may walk with no aid once again. 

I guess I just wanted you to know, 
that I am thankful for the Universe to forcefully meet you despite my predicament. 
That you have clouded my mind and given my heart with all these maybes, 
which I have ran out of a while ago. 
Thank you for switching all my impossibilities into something possible. 
Thank you for existing.